Chce mi bez reszty zająć uwagę i czas.
Kiedy śpię, przychodzi jej to łatwo.
W dzień bywa różnie, i ma o to żal.
Podsuwa mi gorliwie dawne listy, zdjęcia,
porusza wydarzenia ważne i nieważne,
przywraca wzrok na prześlepione widoki,
zaludnia je moimi umarłymi.
W jej opowieściach jestem zawsze młodsza.
To miłe, tylko po co bez przerwy ten wątek.
Każde lustro ma dla mnie inne wiadomości.
Gniewa się, kiedy wzruszam ramionami.
Mściwie wtedy wywleka wszystkie moje błędy,
ciężkie, a potem lekko zapomniane.
Patrzy mi w oczy, czeka, co ja na to.
W końcu pociesza, że mogło być gorzej.
Chce, żebym żyła już tylko dla niej i z nią.
Najlepiej w ciemnym, zamkniętym pokoju,
a u mnie ciągle w planach słońce teraźniejsze,
obłoki aktualne, drogi na bieżąco.
Czasami mam jej towarzystwa dosyć.
Proponuję rozstanie. Od dzisiaj na zawsze.
Wówczas uśmiecha się z politowaniem,
bo wie, że byłby to wyrok i na mnie.
She wants to take up all my time and attention.
She’s got no problem when I sleep.
The day’s a different matter, which upsets her.
She thrust old letters, snapshots at me eagerly
stirs up events both important and un-,
turns my eyes to overlooked views,
peoples them with my dead.
In her stories I’m always younger.
Which is nice, but why always the same story.
Every mirror holds different news for me.
She gets angry when I shrug my shoulders.
And takes revenge by hauling out old errors,
weighty, but easily forgotten.
Looks into my eyes, checks my reaction.
Then comforts me, it could be worse.
She wants me to live only for her and with her.
ideally in a dark, locked room,
but my plans still feature today’s sun,
clouds in progress, current roads.
At times I get fed up with her.
I suggest a separation. From now to eternity.
Then she smiles at me with pity,
since she knows it would be the end of me too.
translation Clare Kavanah
Both my parents died this summer. My mother, unconscious in the last days of her life, seemed to draw from her own source but she also seemed anxious. To my eye, her hands shaped a question mark.
My father, also unconscious, held the hand we gave him with surprising force. There was a strong sense of communication, of receiving and passing on.
Is there a set of qualities that can be described very powerfully with the name of one planet?
Could I make ten self-portraits, one to reflect each of the planets?
More than ten years ago, I had a dream in which my family was robbing a bank, looking for a treasure in underground passages; it felt half-heroic, half-dishonest. A man stood up and died. Then a young woman and I had to hide in a flat and as we were trying to enter unnoticed a small crowd was looking at a yellow sports car. As I was describing this dream in the following days, I was asked what that yellow sports car could represent. More than one idea came to mind. After this dream whenever I saw a yellow sports car I was reminded of the dream and thought of a more showy, more visible part of me, and why not?
In May 2015, I had to collect my passport from South Kensington and saw this car in a showroom window. As I was trying to photograph it without my reflection the woman on the photograph said goodbye to the man and turned; she must have seen me and this was her reaction.
It is only when I was working on printing it that my friend Peter commented on the number plate. The name of the showroom is
H.R. Owen but of course it could be heroin or heroine.
The next exhibition of CamIris, Women Photography Group will be in Michaelhouse, Cambridge between the 5th and 18th October.
The subject is REFLECTIONS and I have chosen to reflect on 10 self-portraits reflecting each set of characteristics attributed to each of the 10 Planets in astrology
Here is a preview with THE SUN, Creative Energies, Nature of Self
A page from the smaller book "To be a Woman Margot KrebsNeale"
You can see both books on the page TWO BOOKS OF POETRY AND PHOTOGRAPHY.
Flots de Mots (2014)
This photograph is of THE RIVER, an installation by the artist Charles Sandison commissioned by the musée du quai Branly, is a work of spectacular video art. Immersed in a river of words that are moving, generated by a network of computers, and projected at varying rhythms and densities for the whole length of the route, visitors will encounter the names of all the peoples and geographic places represented in the museum’s collections. In this way, THE RIVER goes along with the flow of visitors as they ascend right to the source: the collections floor.
… polynésie ravenna slavonska narabat miguel puno nek papantia creuse dogon rajbari nicolas pequetzen rapa pitcalm foukhar botswana pitcairn lipez putau rachaya magdalena santa oblysy sepik san luis piedras quijarro rangamati …