Separate the False Pains from the Real Pain

There is a real pain in your heart, a pain that truly belongs to you. You know now that you cannot avoid, ignore, or repress it. It is this pain that reveals to you how you are called to live in solidarity with the broken human race.
You must distinguish carefully, however, between your pain and the pains that have attached themselves to it but are not truly yours. (...)
It is a struggle to keep distinguishing the real pain from the false pains. But as you are faithful to the struggle, you will see more and more clearly your unique call to love. As you see that call, you will be more and more able to claim your real pain as your unique way to glory.

The Inner Voice of Love Henry J. M. Nouwen